A Bird Just Shat on My Sister’s Face

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By Steven Hal


In the realm of life’s unexpected surprises, my sister recently found herself at the center of a comical yet bizarre incident – a bird decided her face was the perfect canvas for its impromptu artwork. While some might view this as an unfortunate turn of events, we chose to embrace the humor in the situation and find joy in the absurdity of life.

A Bird Just Shat on My Sister's Face
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The Chronicles of A Bird Just Shat On My Sister’s Face

The bird poop was like a big, juicy glob of bird jello

In a world of giggles and unexpected splatters, a bird descended with comical matters. With a mischievous aim, it chose to alight on my sister’s face, causing quite a fright. The laughter erupted like a jubilant riot as she wiped away its messy deposit. Oh, the audacity of this feathery creature, turning her fair visage into an impromptu feature. Though munificence may seem quite absurd, we laughed ’til our bellies hurt; oh, how we mirthfully stirred!

The Unexpected Encounter: A Day at the Park

Picture a splendid summer day, basking in the sun, sharing laughter in the park. Sarah and I were engrossed in cheerful banter when, like a scene from a sitcom, a bird swooped down, leaving an unexpected mark on her cheek. Sarah’s eyes widened in disbelief, her hand instinctively reaching for her face. The moment, though surreal, was too absurd not to find amusing.

Laughter Amidst Horror

“I’ve just been bestowed with a bird’s offering,” Sarah exclaimed, horror and disgust mingling on her face. My response? Uncontrollable laughter. The sheer randomness of the event struck me as hilarious, but Sarah, still in shock, was not ready to share in the amusement.

The Walk of Awkward Silence

As we made our way home, an awkward silence enveloped us. Sarah, sullen and humiliated, didn’t appreciate the comedic aspect as much as I did. I, on the other hand, couldn’t shake off the sheer absurdity of the situation. A walk that should have been filled with light-hearted banter became a silent journey, my laughter trailing behind us.

The Aftermath: Sharing the Laughter Globally

Upon reaching home, Sarah rushed to rectify the situation, while I, still amused, retreated to my room. Unable to shake off the hilarity, I decided to share this unexpected episode online, not anticipating the global attention it would garner. People from all corners of the world joined in the laughter, turning my sister’s mishap into a viral sensation.

Lessons Learned: Embracing the Unpredictable

Here lies the moral of the story: Life’s twists and turns, even the seemingly unfortunate ones, can transform into moments of humor. In the face of a bird’s unexpected gift, finding the laughter in the absurdity of the situation proves to be a far better option than succumbing to frustration or embarrassment.

Bird Droppings: More Than Meets the Eye

Some fun facts about getting shat on by a bird:

  1. Good Luck Charm: Contrary to common belief, getting pooped on by a bird is considered a sign of good luck. Just don’t broadcast it to avoid a crowd seeking your fortunate aura.
  2. Natural Fertilizer: Bird poop is rich in nitrogen, a fantastic nutrient for plants. Consider it a free gift for your garden.
  3. Fashion Statement: Bird poop, the latest trend in haute couture? Perhaps not, but the unpredictability certainly adds a unique touch to any outfit.
  4. Bonding Experience: If you share the experience of being pooped on with a friend, it can become a humorous bond, creating lasting memories.
  5. Perfect Excuse for a Shower: Use the incident as a compelling reason to indulge in a refreshing shower. Cleanliness is next to luckiness!

Note: These are just fun facts not actual facts, so you don’t have to rely on them.

Exploring the Absurd: Myths, Superstitions, and Legends

Common myths and legends associated with birds pooping on people:

  1. Good Luck vs. Bad Luck: A prevalent belief is that bird droppings bring either good or bad luck, depending on cultural backgrounds.
  2. Message from the Gods: Ancient cultures considered birds messengers of the gods, turning bird poop into divine communication.
  3. Purification Ritual: In some Native American cultures, being pooped on was seen as a purification ritual, cleansing the person from negativity.

Scientific Insights into Bird Poop

Insights into the composition and science behind bird droppings:

  1. Uric Acid Art: Bird poop, primarily composed of uric acid, presents an interesting art form on your face.
  2. Color Palette: The brown color in bird droppings comes from pigments in the bird’s diet, making each splatter a unique creation.
  3. Rare Occurrence: The odds of being pooped on by a bird are relatively low, making the experience, in a way, special.
  4. Guanology: For those intrigued, there’s even a scientific study dedicated to bird poop, known as guanology.

Hilarious Reactions and Funny Sayings

How people react to being pooped on by a bird:

  1. Finding Humor: Some find the humor in the situation, embracing the absurdity and adding a funny anecdote to their life stories.
  2. Disgust and Humiliation: Others, like my sister initially, experience feelings of disgust and humiliation.
  3. Nonchalant Acceptance: Some individuals take the incident in stride, acknowledging that being pooped on is just part of life’s quirks.

Unveiling Bird Poop Scams: Hollywood’s “Bird Poop” Scam

Beware of scams related to bird droppings:

  1. Tourist Target: Tourists in Hollywood are being targeted by a scam known as the “bird poop” scam.
  2. Modus Operandi: Scammers approach victims, claiming there’s bird poop on their back. In the guise of helping, they steal valuables during the cleanup process.
  3. Prevention Tips: Remain vigilant, decline unsolicited help, be cautious of distractions, and report any suspicious encounters to the police.

Crafting a Song of the Absurd: A Musical Tribute

A lyrical composition inspired by the bird poop incident:

(Verse) In the midst of a sunny day, laughter in the air, A little bird took aim and left its mark up there, Oh, what a sight, my sister’s face adorned, With that icky surprise, it must’ve been quite warm.

(Chorus) Birdie had no mercy, no time to waste, Dropped its load with gusto, all over her sweet face, We couldn’t help but chuckle as she wiped it away, A moment we’ll remember, forever and a day.

Tips for Cleaning and Prevention

Practical advice for dealing with bird droppings:

  1. Fresh Droppings: Wipe off fresh droppings with a damp cloth.
  2. Dry Droppings: Use soap and water for dry droppings, and for stubborn stains, a mild facial scrub may be effective.
  3. Avoid Eye Contact: Be cautious not to rub your eyes, preventing the spread of bird droppings.
  4. Rinse and Dry: After cleaning, rinse your face with clean water and pat it dry.
  5. Prevention Measures: Wear a hat, use bird repellent spray, or sit under a tree when in areas with a high bird presence.

Embracing Life’s Absurdities

In conclusion, my sister’s encounter with avian excrement was undeniably hilarious, turning an ordinary day into a memorable comedy skit. Nature’s peculiar sense of humor leaves us questioning why birds find joy in targeting us humans. Instead of dwelling on this mystery, let’s revel in life’s unexpected moments, finding solace in laughter even when faced with bird poop. So, the next time you encounter a warm plop on your cheek, don’t take it too seriously – embrace the hilarity and share a good laugh with those around you. After all, life is too short to let bird poop dampen your spirits!

Read more: How To Catch A Bat In Your House

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